5 Powerful Responses When Someone Tells You That You’re A Lot
Have you ever been told you’re too intense, too passionate, too emotional, or too ambitious? Maybe someone sighed and said, “You’re a lot.”
Instead of taking that as a sign that you need to shrink, let’s reframe it:
You are NOT too much. You’re just enough for the life you were meant to live.
People often criticize what they don’t understand. Your energy doesn’t blend into the background, rather it demands attention. And in a world that needs bold voices, creativity, and change-makers…well, that’s a gift, not a flaw.
Here’s how to respond when someone tells you, “You’re a lot,” how to use that energy to thrive.
“Thank you—I consider that a compliment.”
Why This Works:
Instead of getting defensive, this response shifts the narrative. It immediately turns what they intended as criticism into a strength.
The Takeaway:
- Your presence is undeniable. Some people are just not used to seeing someone live out loud.
- People admire confidence, even when they don’t fully understand it. By owning your energy, you give others permission to do the same.
Action Tip:
Write down three things about yourself that others have labeled as “too much.” Now, next to each one, write how that trait has helped you succeed. Own your superpower.
“Maybe I’m not ‘too much.’ Maybe you’re just not enough.”
Why This Works:
Okay, this one is a bit spicy. But sometimes, the issue isn’t you—it’s the smallness of someone else’s expectations.
The Takeaway:
- When people feel uncomfortable around big energy, it’s often because it highlights their own insecurities.
- Your boldness might make them question why they don’t take up space. That’s not your problem.
Action Tip:
Stop trying to “fit in” with people who want you to be smaller. Surround yourself with people who fuel your fire, not ones who try to dim it.
“I know! Isn’t it great?”
Why This Works:
This response embraces your identity rather than defending it. It keeps the conversation light while reinforcing your confidence.
The Takeaway:
- You are not responsible for how others react to your energy.
- People will either adapt to your level or remove themselves. Honestly, both outcomes are fine.
Action Tip:
Practice saying this in front of a mirror. Confidence is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
“OK, I’m not sorry for who I am.”
Why This Works:
We are conditioned to apologize for taking up space. For being passionate. For being loud. This response is a boundary setter. You’re making it clear that you will not shrink to make others comfortable.
The Takeaway:
- Owning your space is an act of self-respect.
- The people who matter won’t ask you to be less…they’ll celebrate you for being more.
Action Tip:
The next time you catch yourself saying “sorry” for something that doesn’t need an apology, replace it with “thank you” instead.
Example: Instead of “Sorry for being so emotional,” say “Thank you for giving me space to express myself.”
“Damn Right, I’m a lot. And I’d rather be a lot than be nothing.”
Why This Works:
The opposite of being “too much” isn’t balance…it’s being invisible. And you weren’t meant to be invisible.
The Takeaway:
- Great leaders, innovators, and visionaries were never quiet, passive, or small.
- The world needs disruptors, game-changers, and people who make others uncomfortable.
Action Tip:
Make a list of historical figures, celebrities, or personal role models who were once labeled “too much.” Realize that the people who change the world never fit in.
Final Thought:
Your “A Lot” is Your Power, SO Own It.
The more you embrace your “too much” energy, the less other people’s opinions will shake you. Confidence isn’t about arrogance, rather it’s about being unapologetically yourself.
So, the next time someone tells you “You’re a lot,” don’t shrink.
- Stand taller.
- Own your presence.
And remember that the world doesn’t need more people who blend in…it needs more people who dare to stand out.